We have three kids and we parented them all the same way and guess what, they are all turning out different AND that’s a good thing, not a bad thing. While I think it’s important to have to have an overall and intentional parenting strategy I do believe that one size fits all parenting may not work the way we want it to.

Why One Size Does Not Fit All

Mary and I didn’t try three different parenting “strategies” on our three children. We parented them all with the same philosophy, thoughts and ideas. We had a core set of values that guided our decisions when it came to our kids. When our kids were younger we thought if they broke a rule or value they should all have the same consequence. Guess what, that didn’t work.

Two of our children

Before our boys went back to college last month they had an assignment from their small group leaders. The assignment was to sit down with their parents and ask them three questions. It was the last question that got Mary and I thinking. Here it is…

What can I do to be a better son?

I took the question to mean, “what can I do to show you how important you are to me, how valuable you are to me. Is there anything I can do or say that will communicate that I love you and I am thankful to you.” Okay, maybe I read to much into it but that

Without question, 100% of the time, when I am speaking at a parenting or family conference answering the Modern Family Question, "What Should I Do When My Kids Are Rude?" I will encounter this scenario...

Craig to Audience: "Take the next minute and discuss with the person next to you what kind of rude behaviors your child or children display on occasion. When the time is up I will ask for a few responses."

Audience to Craig: "Talking back, interrupting, arguing, not saying please or thank you, entitlement, eye rolling."

Eye rolling always comes up and that's when I stop the audience feedback and ask the mom (it's always a mom who will bring this up) and ask her to repeat what she just said so everyone can hear. "I said, eye rolling." Here is my response back to the mom.

Craig To Mom: "Let me guess, you have a daughter between the ages of 10 and 13?"

Mom To Craig: "Yes!"

How do I know

Why does the family across the street have all together? They have a well kept home, nice cars (Always clean), great kids (Also, always clean). They are a great family and they appear to have it all together. I can tell you from experience this could all be true. Yes, they are a great family and yes, they appear to have it all together.

If you were to walk into our home you may get the feeling like we may have it all together. The reason why you may feel that way is because you have not walked upstairs. You are only seeing part of the way we live. We try to keep the downstairs “picked-up.” If you were to walk upstairs you may have a different “feeling” about our appearance. The point I am trying to make is appearances are rarely reality. Stop trying to be perfect because you think your neighbors are…they aren’t. You do not need to raise “perfect kids.” It an illusion you can not possibly achieve.

Here's the good news, you don’t have to be a perfect parent! And, if you think you border on perfectionistic parenting lets see what that may look like.

When we speak of family ministry, we often land on a very popular portion of scripture in Deuteronomy 6:6-9 that I absolutely love and try to frequently share.

These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. Deuteronomy 6:6-9

If you have attended a conference or training session lately, you have heard the term "family ministry" or even "multigenerational ministry" in many

We don’t want to avoid frustration, we want to overcome it! Ironically or unfortunately overcoming frustration as a parent means resting in it! How do I know this? I'm a parent! For those of you that have one child, the precious angel, who never does anything wrong, huge blessings on you! You won, you won the "child" lottery. Now, have another one, frustration is just around the corner.

As parents we have our fair share of emotionally dysregulated moments, sometimes on a daily or hourly basis. When those times come how do we