3 Ways To Find Your Family Rhythm And Stay In Sync

One of the things I like best about families is that each member is different. We look different, we act different and we’re interested in different things. Each member has his or her own rhythm and beat. In a musical sense, rhythm is “The pattern of musical movement through time.”

I’m sure you have heard someone described as “marching to the beat of his [or her] own drum.” Usually that means the person has an internal beat or rhythm that is different from others. It’s a statement about uniqueness and style.

We have many different instruments in our families. In fact, if you have a bigger family, you have a bigger band! But no matter how many people are in your band the goal is to always keep the rhythm! Why march to the beat of the music playing across the street in someone else’s family when you have everything you need to create your own family rhythm?

What I am talking about here is being in sync and resonant with each other. It’s how you keep in step and are melodic and harmonious within your family. And each family must find its own rhythm, the beat that makes that family unique and we can’t achieve that by watching the family across the street.

  • What interests and activities are unique to your family?
  • Do you like to camp?
  • Do you like to rough it out in nature?
  • Do you like to rough it at the Mariott downtown?

One way is neither right nor wrong and one is not better than the other. But the interests your family pursues together is important. In order to maintain rhythm in your family you need to have something that is consistent, a musical beat that everyone can follow.

One of the interesting observations we have made as parents is sometimes our kids want to write or play for the band down the street. We have been told they have “better management” and get to do things the kids in our band don’t get to do.

They get to “play different venues” or “better locations” and have a better “contract” than the kids playing in our band. I’m sure you have heard some of these same stories from your own band members? Maybe?

Can I tell you that it’s ok.Just keep teaching the instruments you have in your home and keep the beat and rhythm going. All the musicians in your band will eventually get on board. You may sing off-key for a while, but you will find the right key in no time.

3 Ides To Help you Find A Healthy Family Rhythm

1. Try A Calendar

One of the best ways to get your “band” NSYNC (Pun Intended) is get your entire family on one calendar. Here are the top three vote getters from a question I put out on Social Media.

2. Try It Out

Bands have different sounds. Rock and Roll, Jazz, Classical, Pop, Country, and many others. Talk it over with your family and find out what style your family is most like.

3. Talk It Over

I once heard some great advice from Gary Smalley when talking about vacations. When going on vacation it my be tough for everyone in the family to “agree” on what to do or where to go. Some may want to rest, another may want to hike and maybe someone else wants to shop or explore local sites. How do you plan a vacation or getaway that keeps everyone on the same page and in sync? Dr. Smalley would say make sure that everyone gets their favorite thing to do at least once while on the trips each person has something to look forward to. I like that advice and it has worked pretty good for us and others who have done it.

Once you’ve established your rhythm, the key to making music rather than noise is to make sure everyone in your family is playing the same song and in the same key. When everyone is together, your family resounds with music and rhythm!


1. On a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being completely in sync) how are you doing at your own family rhythm?

2. Depending on what number you selected, what could you do to find a little more rhythm or the right key?

Photo Credit: shutterstock.com Image ID: 215928832 © Elnur