Whether you are just beginning your parenting journey or have been on the road awhile there are three dates we should all remember.
Sometimes as parents we mistakenly think that validating our child’s feelings is equal to condoning their behavior, not true. In fact, if we don't validate what our kids are feeling they may end up moving farther away from us. They may have made a choice and that choice was a bad one. Instead of jumping over the (counter) or conversation and moving straight to consequence or punishment maybe we could start a dialogue. Something like this...
“I understand why you felt like you need to lie in that situation, I could feel that way to if the circumstances were the same. Can you tell me about what happened?”
That validation may feel a bit counterintuitive, it did for me, but it will get and keep your child talking and as our children grow perhaps they will be more willing to talk to us instead of shutting us out. This ability to ValiDATE is an important date to mark on your daily calendar.
So give Your servant an understanding mind and a hearing heart… 1 Kings 3:9a
How do we update our kids? We don’t. Usually they are the ones updating us on school, the new math, technology and the list could go on. What needs updating is us as parents. Specifically on social media and how it effects our child’s self-esteem, attitude and daily life. What, when, where and how our children access information and their shrinking attention span are opportunities for us as parents. How do we update our parenting to help them navigate their world? How do we give them the skills needed to use their social media in a healthy way? Well, that’s an extremely long answer so, I put it in a book for you! (Faith and the Modern Family: How to Raise a Healthy Family in a Modern World) There are also a few links you may want to check out to download for free and upDATE your social medial and technological savvy.
Take them (Your children) by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master. Ephesians 6:4b LB
If you have young children then you are certainly familiar with this DATE. It’s when they get older that we somehow take it off our “calendar.” We were all designed with the ability to play and our kids are loosing it as they get older (take a look at most adults!) Play is essential for our creative growth. It elevates anxiety, gives us a positive mindset and allows for some creative space to think, be and enjoy.
So I recommend having fun, because there is nothing better for people in this world than to eat, drink, and enjoy life. That way they will experience some happiness along with all the hard work God gives them under the sun. Ecclesiastes 8:15 NLTse
Are there any other important DATEs you can think of?
Which one of the three DATEs are most important to you right now? Why?