by Mary Jutila

Pieces of My Heart

Pieces of My Heart

My mom is a beautiful seamstress. When I was young she used to make me little smocked dresses and even tiny clothes for my dolls. When I was about four years old, she bought a plain pair of jeans and embroidered all kinds of cool things on them. I remember her letting me pick out what I wanted on my jeans and I chose things that were beautiful like butterflies and things that were special like a pair of glasses which reminded me of my daddy. I still remember my mom working so long and so hard on those jeans and I couldn’t wait for them to be finished so I could wear them! (It was the 70’s so no doubt they were totally in style and bell bottom!) Of course my mom had other responsibilities that went along with being a mom of 4 children and my dad worked long hours at Cook County Jail as a Chaplain. My mom tells me that when she finally finished the jeans

Moving On or Moving Forward?

Is there a difference between moving on and moving forward? I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately after a friend emailed me. But the more I think about it the more I see a vast difference.

According to macmillandictionary.com moving on means to “stop discussing or doing something and begin discussing or doing something different.” To me this involves forgetting, leaving behind, and wilfully doing things differently. The kids and I will never “move on” from Craig. He will always be a huge part of our life and we will keep him alive as we talk about him, remember the things he taught us and cherish our memories of being loved by him.  

In contrast the dictionary defines moving forward as “to begin doing something in order to achieve a goal or solve a problem.”  “Moving forward” is then what we need to do as a family. This involves

Beauty from Ashes

Do you believe God can bring beauty from ashes, turn sorrow to joy and bind up your broken heart?

I do! Let me tell you why.

Losing Craig, the love of my life, is not my first heart break. I’m not going to go into all my other ones because I want this blog to be encouraging and not depressing. :) But let me just say that the reason I have hope is because God has taken me through each of the other difficulties and even brought good from the bad. Some of the trials are still present and painful but many are already at the beauty stage.

Three Awesome C's

Those three C’s might surprise you. Of course I have other awesome C’s in my life, like Craig, Cameron, Carole and Cheri but today I am going to write to you about these three C’s.

Carmel, CA was a special place for Craig. As a child, he would head up the coast every summer and stay with his grandparents in the Monterey/Carmel area. He loved to tell stories about roaming around the hills by their house shooting lizards and birds with his BB gun. In fact, his favorite story was

I Had Hoped

Our youngest turned 21 this past Wednesday, ten weeks exactly since her Daddy passed away. Wow! That hit me like a ton of bricks. I hadn’t expected to feel so horribly sad on that day…instead I had busied myself trying to think of ways to make it a special day for her. What kind of cake did she want? Did she want to go out to eat or eat at home? Did she want to invite friends? And what gifts would she love? My mom and I shopped and wrapped and planned the details. And then Wednesday morning…