Although the title is about asking your boss for something you can apply the same elements to a co-worker, friend, or family member. The seven elements below increase our interpersonal effectiveness when asking our boss, or anyone for that matter, for something we want or need. Master them and when you ask, you will receive.

Let’s say you need an increase in your budget for an event that you want to plan. Here are seven elements you can incorporate to increase you chances of getting what you are asking for.

1. Explain Specifically
Stick to the facts describing what you want, need or are asking for.

Example: “I would like to do an event for parents this Spring and need a small increase in our budget in order to do the event.”

2. Express Feelings
Use “I” statements when you speak taking ownership of what you are asking and expressing your feelings about the event. It’s hard to argue with “your feelings.”

Example: “I feel this event would make a huge difference in the lives of the parents and families that attend.”

3. Emphasize Reward
Make sure your boss knows what they are getting out of it. Let them know

Part 3: How To Play and Win!

What does it mean to win? We touched on it briefly in part 1 but I want to go a little deeper here and define what it means to win for people who play politics and for people who want to have a positive impact on their environment.

Politicking People Play to WIN = What I Need
Positive People Play to WIN = Will Invest Now
The difference is in the “I” isn’t it?

Positive People Win In A Healthy Way
If you haven’t read “How to Play Church Politics & Win Part 1” it would be best to read it now. Remember, you are playing the game with different rules and different equipment. You are bringing a football to a baseball game, a baseball to a basketball game and a basketball to a football game.

If you bring a football to a baseball game you are definitely going to get a few looks and most likely a few comments so take these three thoughts with you on your way to the game. With that in mind there are three reminders for each of us should we choose to Invest in the game.

1. Be Aware

It’s not always possible to change the system or culture. In fact, it may

Part 2: What Are The Rules?

Office politics will continue to be played regardless of what we think, say, feel or do. So, is it possible to play the game without giving up our core beliefs or judging those who continue to play by their own unhealthy rules? The answer is, yes, you can.

Author Daniel Goleman and others would say that having organizational awareness and the ability to read the currents and politics within an organization is an emotional intelligence asset not a liability. Noticing and understanding the politics within our office environment does not mean you have to play the game but you must understand that if you don’t play the game you will end up loosing by forfeit.

Here’s My Unconventional Observation
Playing office politics can be as unhealthy as ignoring them all together

I think of Jackson Browne’s Lyrics to his song “Boulevard”
“They say it can't be won, The way the game is run
But if you choose to stay, You wind up playing anyway, It’s okay.”

What Are The Rules of The Game?

Part 1: What Are Church Politics?

The title startles us, doesn’t it?

I guess the more friendly or much safer titles would have been, “How To Survive Church Politics” or “How To Understand Church Politics But Not Get Involved,” but here’s my titling dilemma. I don’t want to survive in my environment, I want to thrive in my environment and if I want to thrive I can not fully embrace church politics nor can I deny they exist and that puts me (us) in an awkward position.

The title “Play Church Politics” suggests it’s a game we play and that feels a little discomforting too. We may think church or office politics don’t exist. I think it may a bit naive to assume as much and you may think, “I don’t want to play, let alone try and win!” I hear you, I am with you, I agree with you.

However, if the game board is out and everyone is at the table ready to play, what do you do? How do you behave? Do you roll the dice when

Each leader has a choice to make…
Go through or go around.

Good leaders may take the easier path and go around while great leaders take the more difficult path and go through. Over the last few months I have thought about the important gates leaders must open and walk through in order to be successful. As a result, here are the five gates every leader must open.

1. The NaviGATE
Leadership is often described using words like vision, future, goals and strategy. Each of these words would also describe the important gate every leader must open, The NaviGATE. A good leader can take people where they should go and should be however, a great leader will take people where they don’t want to go but should be. The difference between the good and great leader is