Here’s what I know. We are all broken. We were born that way. The trouble I have is I tend to want to live in my brokenness rather than with my brokenness and believe me, there is a difference.
I don’t need to live in a garbage can to know that it smells yet I live with three of them on the side of my house. I guess you could say I live with trash but I don’t live in trash. Why then do I live in my brokenness rather than
If there was a parenting recovery group at church you would stand up and say, “Hi, my name is Craig and I am a parent.” “Hi Craig,” is the response. I'm not making fun of 12 step groups or recovery groups, what I am saying is, the people in those groups have something that many of us don’t and that is the power of authenticity. Each person is there for one reason, connection.
When one person shares their hurts and hang ups there is no doubt they will hear a “Me Too” response and honestly, that is quite reassuring. It's reassuring to know you are not the ONLY one going through life facing what you are facing
If my fear of imperfection makes me want to cover up, then Be Aware.
If my fear of connection makes me want to hide, then Be Vulnerable.
I know, I know, leaders don’t fear rejection. Well, at least we don’t fear it out loud. I have met many leaders, including myself, that say, “I don’t care what others think.” Ok, I get it, I understand. There are two problems with this. First, we really do care what people think but saying we don’t somehow makes us a better leader? There s something wrong with that philosophy.
Second, and most important, if we don’t care what others think then, according to researcher Brene Brown, “We loose the capacity for connection.” I hope you heard that last line. "We loose the capacity for connection."
If we we don’t connect with others
The fear of imperfection paralyzes a leader’s potential because it reduces our capacity for meaningful connection. When a leader is open and honest about their shortcomings and struggles they take a risk and become vulnerable and open to attack.
Our fear of imperfection was introduced way back in the Garden of Eden.
She took some of the fruit and ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it, too. At that moment their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness. So they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves. Genesis 3:6-7 NLT
Both Adam an Eve started a trend that we have perfected today, the art of covering up. Adam and Eve used fig leaves we use smiles, busyness and
"Act your way into feeling, don’t feel your way into acting.” A well known quote that I have used in talks and tried to practice in my own life for quite some time. In fact, if truth be told, I was a wholehearted believer in the concept. Today, I’m different. I would reword the quote to something like this.
Somewhere in my past I must have tossed my feelings and thinking out the door in favor of a purely rational, “do better, try harder” mindset. I would say something like this, ”Craig, keep doing and eventually you will start being.”
So, leaders, parents, and anyone who will listen. Stop “acting” your way into anything. Start thinking and believing better about
We are all broken, we were born that way. The trouble is occasionally we live in our brokenness rather than with our brokenness. There is a big difference between living in brokenness instead of with brokenness. Living in brokenness promotes a sense of shame, living with brokenness a sense of humility.
I don’t need to live in a garbage can to know that it smells yet I live with three of them on the side of my house. I guess you could say I live with trash but I don’t live in trash. Why then do I live in my brokenness
The Etymology of Courage
The prefix Cor is from Latin which means heart. Dr. Brene Brown would define Courage as “The ability to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart.” In other words, courage is being vulnerable.
You may have heard it said that you can’t have courage without fear. If this is true then what are we afraid of given this definition of courage? I think we are afraid of being authentic! What if someone knows who I really am?
Paul reminds us in 2 Corinthians 12:9 MSG that our strength comes from revealing our weakness. "And then he told me, My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness."
The problem is we all have some type of fear that causes each of us to look, think, walk, talk in a way that is different from who we really are. It’s what I call a fear veneer. We want others to see
