If we take the above story and apply it to family we can see some similarities. When we are consistent in our emotions and behavior it reduces our kids anxiety and frustration. When our kids know where the boundaries are and what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior they have a foundation from which to grow.
Our children know when boundaries are set and then
I’m not to sure where I picked this thought up but I want to throw it out there as a topic of conversation and, perhaps, a confession of sorts. Here it is…
Growing up as a child I was quite curious. As a child with unexplainable curiosity, which would be described as ADD today, I was constantly into things.
There was no diagnosis for ADD and no medication either when I was growing up (Unless you count “the belt” as medication) so I would constantly seek
I get it. Life “happens.” Circumstances come our way that are not pleasant, even down right frustrating. Sometimes we need to tie a knot at the end of our parenting rope and hang on for dear life. However, hanging on for dear life, for all of our life, is not a particularly healthy way to live life. Wouldn’t you agree?
Proverbs says, “Being cheerful keeps you healthy. It’s a slow death to be gloomy all the time.” Proverbs 17:22 TEV. I happen to wholeheartedly agree with these words. Life tends to be experienced better when there
Please notice I said emotionally healthy parents are in control. I did not say emotionally healthy parents are controlling, there isdifference. Emotionally healthy parents are not controlling however, they are in control or their thoughts, actions and emotions.
When we keep our thoughts, actions and emotions under control we are better parents and, we parent better. We parent from a wise mind, not an emotionally dysregulated one. Emotional dysregulation is a term often used to describe
Paul says, “For I have learned how to be content (satisfied to the point where I am not disturbed or disquieted) in whatever state I am.” Philippians 4:11 AMP.
So, how does this work with parenting?
How do you stay content when, let’s say, your two year old's only word is no and they use it all day? Or how about when your five your old spills their milk for the fourth time, in the last hour. Or when your ten year old
If there was a parenting recovery group at church you would stand up and say, “Hi, my name is Craig and I am a parent.” “Hi Craig,” is the response. I'm not making fun of 12 step groups or recovery groups, what I am saying is, the people in those groups have something that many of us don’t and that is the power of authenticity. Each person is there for one reason, connection.
When one person shares their hurts and hang ups there is no doubt they will hear a “Me Too” response and honestly, that is quite reassuring. It's reassuring to know you are not the ONLY one going through life facing what you are facing
We have three kids and we parented them all the same way and guess what, they are all turning out different AND that’s a good thing, not a bad thing. While I think it’s important to have to have an overall and intentional parenting strategy I do believe that one size fits all parenting may not work the way we want it to.
Mary and I didn’t try three different parenting “strategies” on our three children. We parented them all with the same philosophy, thoughts and ideas. We had a core set of values that guided our decisions when it came to our kids. When our kids were younger we thought if they broke a rule or value they should all have the same consequence. Guess what, that didn’t work.
Two of our children
